Wednesday Wardrobe

So costumes and favorites are related. Because it was safer to never like anything, and because I did not have reliable access to clothes that fit or that weren’t ragged let alone that I liked, I have primarily selected clothing on the basis of suitability to a purpose – does it technically achieve its intended function. This allowed me to be genuinely happy with lost and found winter clothes, and to value clothing as communication – i.e. as costumes.

Once I stopped play acting family with Mother I made changes to my life to minimize the ability of other people to demand costumes of me. I now feel free to decline any invitation to participate in externally selected clothing. Which I think is mostly good, but also means I sometimes have a lot of trouble wearing a robots shirt.

But I kept right up with the not evaluating clothes¹Only my clothes. I’m actually a big fan of clothes in media and on other people and discuss them critically. But I can only imagine it through the lens of performance or other utility, and since I never understand myself in a role that demands such costumes it doesn’t apply to me. for basic features like fit or style. And I never replaced the extrinsic motivations for costume with any intrinsically motivated choices. So now I don’t pick clothes at all – I wear the same thing literally every day, just taking the next shirt from the pile.

That pile is full of an outfit I’ve decided is good enough for any occasion. It has to be – it’s literally the only thing I own. But I made that decision on the basis that I need to be prepared for anything including being transiently homeless, being cold/wet, being presentable enough to be employed at places with dress codes but not uniforms, being inside or out, and being was socially acceptable in most situations, all without changing clothes. Which is perhaps not a sensible fear in my current life, even if it was before.

I still don’t want to wear anyone’s uniform. And I don’t want to spend a lot of effort dealing with my clothes – I like the option of not thinking about it.

But I could wear whatever costume I liked. Lots of different costumes even. And I could even demand that they fit²I’m not 100% sure I can, at least not by myself. But Shanda promised to help..

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.