Tuesday

Last lazy day. I’m reluctant to go back to work tomorrow but I’ve arranged to only have a 3 day week before another long weekend and 4 day week after that, so I can ease myself back toward the idea of being employed under late stage capitalism. Shanda’s alrest back to work today but I took an extra day to make the calendar better. In any case, I’ve arranged for a restful and enjoyable last day today, with fairly good results.

Got the package compiled, compressed, and shipped. I almost told a different story here but I liked the version where I was done better, so I stopped writing and finished. Glad I did. It will be at least a week until I get any user feedback, but it was fun to do regardless.

Cooked stir fry tonight for the first time in a long while. I have to be a little careful with it to be sure my brain doesn’t associate it with food scavenging, but it seems okay when I have a protein selected particularly for it. And I like it a lot. Protein-bound starchy foods taste like safety.

Shanda got valances built today, so now it’s back to me to find a mounting plan. Perhaps tomorrow night I can finally become fully protected from the day star’s radiation, able to conjure utter darkness at any hour. Or at least have the blinds be more effective in early morning.

I’m not sure how to balance Melissa stuff. She’s finally doing some better things, but the amount of involvement I can tolerate is almost zero. Even money feels like a burden. I have to remember that no one else caring doesn’t make it my responsibility. That I have to provide care for more than one person. And believe that I won’t blame myself forever when it goes poorly without me. Or at least that I won’t blame myself more than I would when it goes poorly with me.

Maybe work will be a useful distraction tomorrow. Maybe the chicken truck will be back Thursday. Maybe I’ll get to sleep without worrying about it too much tonight.

ZiB

— 
Sent from a phone.