Sunday

Invited Brian for an off-week game but he didn’t respond. So he’s probably still feeling bad. We invited him again next week. But it’s always nice it have my Sunday back.

I’ve identified the cause of my outsized reaction to S’s agism – it’s that I don’t think of him as a parent* and don’t want to, but he would take that label**. When I’m reminded of that fact it makes me resent him a little. I should probably do something about that. Like explain to him how I’m a crazy person that’s against the concept of patriarchal family. And maybe try to imagine him more accurately.

Talked with DerbyK about tilting at windmills. My guilt is always 2 steps ahead of me when it comes to giving up on people. Even people I don’t know or like very well. I think it’s worthwhile to try even if there’s only a small chance of success, but it is sometimes tough for me to know where the line is – where I need to step back to protect myself.

“Small gestures and time” Logen keeps saying in BTAH. And I have to agree. It’s not always an easy plan but it’s the only one I know will work. This book is better at feels than people give it credit for.

Watched The Girl with All the Gifts (2016). I bought it as part of the Dominique Tipper collection but it turned out to be Glenn Close movie about murdering your parents and the nature of personhood. Would recommend if you’re up for patricide.

I’m a little nervous about the amount of time I’m not working last Friday and this Monday, compared to the amount of pressure my boss is feeling about the perf bug. But I’m not gonna do anything about it. Robots beats work any day, and F5 employs hundreds of other developers that can do it if they think I’m too slow.

Shanda has declared that she doesn’t want a mohawk for herself, she just thinks women with mohawks are hot. But since she thinks she’s hot I’m not sure that distinction means anything. Other than that she’s afraid of cutting her hair. Or maybe afraid of liking it.

I skipped my usual minor interrogation of A and went with a letter instead. I risked speculating about his feelings about family. I’m not sure it will take, but I though it worth a try.

It’s finally starting to feel like the reason I moved to Seattle again***. Dark, wet, 50 degrees. The 70-100 days in the middle of summer sometimes make me forget that I like the weather here.

ZiB

*Given my historically narrow context of interaction with him it’s been easy to ignore – his kids were never in robots and he’s often on my side against robot parents. At least to the extent it doesn’t require any conflict.

**He would also call himself an adult, but being upset about that is a road to crazy town so I try not to indulge.

***Beyond the running away reasons, obviously

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Sent from a phone.