Shared Media

M has a visitor this week that I’m really excited about. Who I think will help you feel safe and in control and who I’m glad you didn’t have to wait a super long time to see. I’m a little worried about how you’re still sick but I’m told you’re going to get help with that in the near future. And someday we’ll find a way for your life to feel calm enough that you can get to some of the important but less urgent tasks that feel too burdensome. Or find a way to make them seem more relieving than stressful.

V didn’t show up to robots on Saturday, which was a slight disappointment. I keep imagining that doing actual things together might be a break in routine and nudge you in a different direction. Might nudge me away from my belief that I’m better from afar. You don’t seem opposed to the idea but getting something nailed down has been tricky. Come play test the new game with me, or help me build a guinea pig ramp, or some other bit of a care package. Or code up my new home automation system or teach Dog to grumble on command.

I actually wore my new leggings yesterday, when I needed pants but could tolerate not having pockets – I had forgotten the utility of jacket pockets after so long without a jacket. They used to be a big part of my life, when I lived in my coat and needed all my supplies and equipment to be mobile. And it gives me some perspective on why I need pockets stapped to me and not just a bag – about if important I still hold the few items that I do carry, and how unsafe I feel with them even a few feet away. I have plans to get pockets (or equivalents) but I should see if there’s some grieving to be done about pocket-related survival trauma to make the whole thing feel easier. It would probably make travel easier too. I already made some progress with being able to set down my computer bag without constant contact and it would be nice to do the same about pockets.

I’m hoping to work on my phone system in my time off this week. It’s a thing I put together a plausible plan for back when I was in Vancouver months ago – the same time I was starting The Screed – and I’ve made zero progress since then¹Got real work done today. It doesn’t do anything useful yet but it captures and parses messages my provider sends for both SMS and MMS. I think step 2 is to make this an email gateway, as a functional PoC before I deal with chat integration. Outbound will require a little bit of infrastructure since MMS doesn’t allow inband media, but that’s … Continue reading. I need a chat sever setup and some software to interface with the provider API. But I want it to work. I want MMS on my main number and I should have had private chat 20 years ago so I can have the same level of protection and control there that I do in my other comms. I think stage one is to get an MMS->email gateway going because I already run email, but I’m also excited to Ansible up a chat service as step one in moving my hosted services to a modern model. In any case, doing some computer work for myself seems like a good idea²When I replaced the hard drive in my disk host I did a little general maintenance and deleted some administrative files generated in 2008. That machine has to be ready to explode at any moment. I want to be ready to build soemthing new, hopefully proactively but certainly reactively, and I’d like it to be something easier to keep up-to-date now … Continue reading and I’m going to try to make it happen this week.

I just started The Fifth Season (N. K. Jemisin). I heard @FD³There are lots of reasons I like @FD but the main one is the way she shouts things about her childhood that only some people can hear, that even she doesn’t always hear. But they make me feel like I can relate to another human. She isn’t sharing for me – she doesn’t even always know what she’s sharing – but it helps me anyway. And it … Continue reading talk about how it was emotionally intense in a way she compared to Joe Abercrombie’s depiction of violence. And I see what she means, right away. Here’s a great example – the first thing the child-buyer in chapter 2 says to 11-year-old protagonist is “You needn’t be afraid.” and then just to her “I won’t let your mother hurt you”. If that means anything to you and you can handle a fantasy book about systematic oppression, you should at least read through chapter 2 and see if you’re interested. Imagine you’re being saved by someone who sees what’s happening and cares. Or that you’re the child-buyer doing the saving and admonishing mother without raising your voice. I would in particular recommend the reading by Robin Miles, if you’re up for an audio book. I’ll get it ripped into Plex in the immediate future.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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