Percival’s Periwinkle Pepperbox

2018-11-05 /

I can’t decide what I did today. Sort of nothing. But also many things. I pushed a brad through one piece of cloth and unfolded another onto a chair. I moved a bunch of plastic sheets from one table to another and back again. I stored thousands of tiny vinyl letters and emptied and filled the dishwasher. I took Dog for a walk and put out the trash. Talked to Shanda about a book – the C-PTSD one I noted here – and watched 30 minutes of Robin Wright lying to me in the best way*. Played a couple hours of silly Wow D&D and tried to calm our GM about recruiting on Saturday. Got good and high, talked to A, figured out what I’m doing outside the house for the next 2 days. Spent a while working on this [fig 1], but not long enough to get it done before Shanda got back from B’s. Tried 137 times to make the dog stop whining during our game but only succeeded in 4 of those attempts. Had hot supper and lunch and a shower. Updated the Plex server and renumbered some current TV. Imagined how I might free myself from SRs before I’m off later this week. Spent some time worrying about how to balance the perception of safety against practical protections**. And talked to DerbyK about the way I feel like my friends are people I failed to properly protect, either from myself or from other pain I could see but didn’t end.

And still sleep, on an even thinner The Screed. One more long day, followed by a short one, and then an actual rest. Things aren’t so bad that I can’t think, but it’s still Wednesday night until Tuesday afternoon without much time with Shanda, or even much to myself. That’s a long time even when things are great, and things are currently only okay, particularly as measured by paragraph structure.

ZiB

*House of Cards (HBO) really nails narc mother both this season and in the past. And it opens this year with notes about the response to their staffing choices making it into the actual dialog, which isn’t even out of character for the show.

**Which included Shanda buying a fire extinguisher for B – but not yet talking about it with them – and agreeing to help me with my misunderstanding of how other people value socks.

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Sent from a phone.