Here’s a sad story. Not a new one but relevant to a feeling I want to talk about. When I was maybe 5, and Alex was about 2, we were unsupervised for lunch. This was not uncommon but the level of supervision was particularly low, as Mother was away and Pete was outside working on something. I made myself tuna for lunch, as I did many days, and I helped Alex make hers too. We both prepared bread and whatever we condiment we were each allowed and with some effort I got the can open (which is real work when you’re 5). I drained it and took my share and…

Ran office hours today. Literally no one stopped to see me. Which was fine. It was too busy for focused worked but I cranked through some light SRs. With that and a little follow up at home I managed to kill all but one from my queue, and that one is waiting on someone else. I’m back on the queue next week but I can leave this week clean and hope next week doesn’t pick up 2 a day like the last round did. Spent HA4Hs today working on robot soldering. Primarily tearing apart an old Xbox controller trying to retrofit external pots. The construction on these is really surprising…

The first time we watched Killjoys Shanda couldn’t see the murder cult narc 1%er abuse backstory of the main character. But you can now; they address it directly. It’s one of the things I love about the show. It’s the backstory this person actually has to be where they are now, and it’s what gives them a perspective on and power against the broader oppression of their world. Episode 4 starts with an off-handed but thoughtless and mean comment about how the protagonist isn’t as human as people who feel pain. But it ends with that same commenter telling our hero they “got out clean”, from whatever shit they escaped,…

Sunday started with exactly the sort of free-floating resentment I was worried about. Where my existence is perceived as a burden even when it has no impact. It thankfully did not last days like it has in the past, but it made getting to robots tricky. Robots itself went well. We won all but one of our qualification matches and played in finals, but did not advance. It’s very good – we beat hundreds of teams – and we are finally building robots that can survive a day of without breaking. The team is always exited to imagine going to Worlds, but I’m pretty ambivalent. I would like them to…

Got things done today, but not SRs. Did media work and banking and updated the dragon and researched crowd data. Built a balloon staff to work around restrictions on floating and flying devices 1Though I expect there might be a petty tyrant to fight with about it at the door because I am still using a mylar balloon. I think I’ve got a plan for that eventuality.. I convinced J to come, which should be good. They do better when I request urgent action than when I try to make plans, so I waited until today to make it go. It’s risky of course, because the deadline itself can seem…

Went all week with only 2 SRs. Then I got 7 linux kernel cases in Friday afternoon. So I’ve got a ton of SRs again. I think I can kill a bunch of them as irrelevant to us, but it’s not the best Friday, and will mean I have to find some time tomorrow if I want to keep my Monday plans. I could use a down day but I suspect that will be hard to get until Cassie leaves, so getting day job done to let me skip next week is an okay plan B. Did robots, though quite late because of the SRs. Took took apart things and…

Cassie is here today, and through the weekend. Such things are always stressful for Shanda. I think you’re doing okay with it, in relative terms, but it’s still a lot, and you were already at a lot. Be sure you keep working on things that will help you actually cope, and not just things that will distract you without helping you find calm. Day job went better Wednesday. Got through half my SRs, killed a new one same day, finished all my deadline work, helped with some out of band process, started the tracking framework that I need for the last few SRs. Did less good on Thursday but we’re…

Today feels hard. Like I don’t deserve clothes or warmth hard. Having more than one tier of clothes helped though, as I was able to put on an emergency shirt before wading through all of the feels. The feels part is important but being physically well and able to do daily tasks is more urgent, so having an alternative instead of just a barrier is nice. Dog appears to be slightly injured, limping a bit on the front left. I first noticed late Friday and it was worse Sunday; today is the first time the vet it open since then. I don’t think it’s a big problem – when he’s…

Did robots. Had good ideas for new systems, but not for this week. Only made okay progress on motion tuning. I have ideas for that though – maybe T would write a wizard to guide tuning in the future. It could be tied into the ServoNG global debug system for live tuning. And it could help them imagine there’s a real procedure. I’ve been terrible about day job this week. I half advanced like 2 SRs, and did that silly interview, and nothing else. I’m okay with that, but I am annoyed to still own December SRs. Got to help DerbyK today, which I always like. It was a stressful…

It snowed here this week. Even stuck around overnight and on the streets, which only happens a day or two a year, on average. They didn’t switch to snow routes on most routes, but they did add chains to all bus drive tires, which is a pain. Loaded 65′ articulated bus going 45 MPH with chains is pretty bad on the list of physical vehicle comfort even for public transportation. Then the bus threw a chain, just past the Aurora bridge, and we had to wait for the transfer to the next one. It’s a trunk line so it runs every few minutes, but it’s also busy so we can’t…