Our Home and Native Land

Made it to Canadia. Left home almost entirely without survival gear. Got all my day job done for maximum disengagement for the next week. M had yet another hard day, another one that will take more than a day to recover from. Thought about oppression, the way I don’t believe I’m entitled to feel it, and the way it is punishing M for trying to escape it. Had feels about all the times I was physically abandoned, about how sad the unattended minor table in Amtrak trains is, and about how much I resented seeing other people get that (to my abused brain, “high”) level of care when I was young. Got some late night groceries, to deal with the way being stuck in a hotel room makes without food makes me panic (and the way customs makes food hard). Thought about the way I only believe that people like me in a crisis and not for regular life. Decided that I don’t have to stay up after late night public transit to do real writing. Maybe tomorrow I can sya something about being ashamed to know what a meal looks like. But for tonight I want to sleep.

ZiB

—
Sent from a phone.