Busy Being Busy
I have a great warpaint plan for tomorrow. Did some experiments tonight and it came out well. I’m excited to show do it and to show you.
Here’s a thing I know about busy. Sometimes the feeling you have of “busy” is not a response to being over scheduled – sometimes it’s a response to the work of trying not to think about a feel. When there’s something emotionally loaded kicking around in your brain and your afraid to engage with it, it can make you feel “busy” (in addition to unfocused and anxious and a bunch of other things). It can also encourage you to fill all of your time with distraction, productive or otherwise, to help keep that big feeling away. But when you’re in this state no amount of cleaning or running or will make it better – you’ll have to actually turn and face your feeling. You don’t have to do it alone, but you have to do it, or you’ll keep being “busy” until something gives way.
Also when you’re the other kind of busy – the too many priorities in your daily plan kind – you aren’t going to stop feeling that way until an unless you take action to change your definition of priorities to include your own needs. That can also be hard, and it’s particularly challenging when you feel both kinds of busy at the same time. But there is no other option, at least as far as I know. If to would help, know that your peers and friends would almost certainly offer reassurance for your plan to prioritize yourself, I’d you let them see what you needed. If you stopped for one second to be able to see for yourself.
Shanda is still having lots of hard sick times. Old sick feels popping out – you couldn’t be sick when you were 10. There was no one to take care of you. There wasn’t even anyone to relieve you from your household duties. It’s not that way anymore but it’s easy for you to get stuck in those old feels. I also think you’ve got feels about making friends with a 10 year old and are having a hard time engaging with them. You want to say it will be easy as an excuse to bit engage, but I’d you don’t engage proactively you’re almost certainly going to get triggered by it. You can do it, but you have to pay attention or it will be really stressful for you. So don’t do it alone, without preparation. Do it with me as a heist and I’ll help make it fun and safe and easy.
Went to robots, and on my way in a bitchy 15 year old I don’t know told me they liked my earrings. It made my feel very Taliesin. The meeting itself went well. I spent slightly too much time in a debate about the dimensional analysis of a friction calculation with respect to the force gauge reading. I argued it was in kilograms-force, being from a force gauge, but this was not readily accepted. Got some laptops going with updates and whatnot. T actually got all the phones fixed up in his own initiative. Good job them. S had a lot to say about a camping trip they took with even older white people. I was bored just imagining it, but they seemed to have a good time. They want so badly to do something different but are afriad to imagine what exactly that might be, outside the context of the exactly one job they’ve ever had (fracking Boomers).
Probably other things. But I need sleep. Soccer is before noon and I have to blue myself first.
ZiB
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Sent from a phone.
