B

So I did name day things today. It was not great. I could not get any relevant support from Shanda, despite weeks of preparation. I don’t mean to lean so hard on you, but it is a thing I do need help with, and I don’t know how to get. When I fell through from anxious to sad you did see me, but it would have been nice to get help with anxiety and not just hopelessness. It would have been nice to not include hopeless in the day at all.

I got better social support than I expected, which was nice. I only felt like I was being a huge drag by sharing 6 times. People only touched me in distressing ways 3 times (and I only overreacted once). I only felt like I was taking up too much space when Shanda moved behind me at the theater. I did get to eat real food at the theater. I stole a minute for color. And I got stickers. So it could have been worse.

Still, it would have been nice not to do alone. You were up for talking about it afterward. It was a long walk to get to what I’m hoping for, but it think we for point there eventually. Just a few dozen more traumatic interactions and maybe I can do it better.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.