Maybe It’s Me
It occurs to me that emotionally-driven “simulations”, as I described in the last Screed, are very similar to the process I imagine lets me combine a sequence of emotions with a story and build a narrative memory.
It’s also the process I use to build scams, but using it to check the plausibility of a story – to check the match between the real feelings and the story I’m making up about them – is sort of what I do in lieu of being able to actually remember things across identities.
The thing that happens when I wake up, jaw clenched, in a bad simulation – the thing that ends the loop I’m stuck in – is that awake me tells a new story that fits better. The simulation is resolved when the story actually fits the emotions.
So maybe if I can come up with better stories before bed I can have better simulations. Maybe I can get stuck less often in loops where nothing works by finding likely stories before I sleep. Maybe if I load my brain up with better narrative while I’m still awake I can be more satisfied with the simulation that runs while I’m asleep.
Maybe that’s one of the things I used to do with daily writing. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I sometimes feel like I can’t be done with a Screed – I need a story from another me and don’t have access to it right now.
This Screed isn’t very good writing. I’m using my good writing for other things today. But it’s maybe material for a useful simulation.
It’s certainly got enough maybes to be worth a little testing.
ZiB
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Sent from a phone.
