Weekday Waiting

D&D today. We lost the C-verse setting, for reasons that were not explained to me, but otherwise continued with similar characters. I’ve got a new plan to antagonize Shanda, to give you opportunities for anger, and to give voice to the motivations that make murder necessary. We are a band of mercenaries using violence to exert our will on a foreign serfs and extracting wealth from local communities as we travel, as is typical in combat RP settings ¹Dimension 20: Fantasy High addresses this as the central plot of both seasons – that “adventuring” requires oppression, and gets political support to accommodate it. The fight isn’t between good and evil, it’s among institutional powers, and it hurts everyone around them..

I’m going to play someone who, when panicked, builds and then uses Whiteness to gain the benefits of whatever local state violence is available. They are pretending not only at the support of an empire but also at being human. They would never qualify as an insider but they can fake it for a minute. All it costs is a little more oppression to everyone around them. But that’s what we’re here for, they say out loud – we do the murders and keep the profits, someone else does the work and the dying. Adventuring.

I’m back on the queue this week. There’s no way to tell if that will make me busy or if it will be a slow week. I should be okay either way – I’m actually not feeling behind at the day job despite my time away. I’m still having some trouble caring about meetings, but actual work seems plausible.
I think I’ve got plans for Friday. There’s an emotional fog on the other end that makes plans unreliable but there’s at least conceptual agreement and I should be able to build on that over the week to improve the odds. I’d be excited to make it happen, even with the constraints anxiety has imposed, because it will finally let me share an art I built 9 months ago. Might let me start a new one if things go well.

Got a letter from M, full of feels and frustration. I’m glad for the extra contact but sad that it finds you in some distress. I have confidence that you can find a way to be satisfied and restful at the same time, even though that can feel impossible. Good job collecting yourself and sharing what you found. I’ll be chewing on it this week.

Tomorrow I have too many meetings, and I need to get to the post office so I can officially demand at my landlord. Robots too, in theory, though that’s hard to fit into the schedule and I’m not feeling very connected to it. But for today, sleep.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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