Quickbread Qontact

I got to talk to DerbyK yesterday and chat with M today, which has had a big impact on my week. I’m doing shitty at day job and only okay at physical wellness but it was really good to talk to people this week after too long away.

DerbyK is getting married this weekend ¹No big parties obviously, but I promise we’ll do something cool to celebrate when the world allows it., which was an excuse to send a package. I got to pick out something fun and slightly silly and that came with no English instructons. I got to write a story ²The ultimate cheapskate gift – a printed email. designed to make you cry a little, and I got to hear about it when you did. I hope your wedding goes well ³Which mostly means I hope you don’t feel too responsible for everyone else, and are able to enjoy it. It also means I hope no one brings you COVID.. It has already been great for me.

We got to talk for a minute about the pressure that comes even from joyful plans and the fear that your happiness will be the cause of someone else’s pain. But you aren’t the cause, even if it happens near you. That’s just a lie from your anxious brain and the heart you can’t protect. We got to talk about quickbreads and the thermodynamics of love. It meant a lot to have you hear a thing I’m missing and think about a way to share yours.

M chatted with me let and me know about all sorts of new things about your life and your feels. It’s maybe selfish, but I get a lot out of talking to you. You’re doing so many things to be more M, and putting up with a lot while you try to make it happen. I hope the coming weeks can feel less alone, in spite of the global death.

Dave popped up, right here in the middle of this Screed, taking seriously the assignment I shouted into the void. I do appreciate it. I hope you also find ways to be less alone in the coming weeks.

Watched Maggie Mae Fish talk about Breaking Bad and Punishment Park (1971) ⁴ https://youtu.be/PTXK0sTPgU4 . It’s hard not to like her, even when she’s showing me half a century of unchanging oppression. I have been motivated to watch some Peter Watkins films, even though they’re all ancient. Her analysis reminded me that Breaking Bad is pretty, and I liked watching the violence of the “civilized” patriarchy the show explores, but if I’m going to watch a beautiful, deadly desert I’m going to do with Better Call Saul. It’s even prettier and much more careful about its themes. Also that one-take indoor-outdoor drone shot at the border crossing still makes me squee.

I ought to pop out a couple of SR updates tonight, even just tiny ones, to keep the dread dialed down. And to keep my boss from panicking tomorrow when they think about me taking a week off. And I ought to get some sleep during the dark hours so I can impersonate a human tomorrow.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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