Katsu Kobra Kai

Today was fine, except when it wasn’t. I did no day job and (mostly) don’t feel bad about it. I did Dog things and Shanda things hide for a while outside on the outdoor couch ¹Despite the Ames, IA rules about indoor-outdoor-rental furniture, I have come to really appreciate the outdoor couch. I could 100% be homeless on a couch with rain cover. If there was electricity and a nearby bathroom I’d be in pretty good shape. I’m excited to get the backyard setup for movies, even before I get a real theater inside. … Continue reading when things were hard. I found my aging plaster walls to be a challenge for structural mounting and felt defeated. It was a weird day.

But mostly fine. I had a Katsu Burger that came with good fries and an tolerable milk shake. Most of the groceries we ordered came. M talked to me for a minute about their cool projects while I was weird about living rough. @BPS talked to me for a minute about intentional daily life while I was weird about having a home. DerbyK talked to me for a minute about the body’s impact on emotion while I was weird about being a human. I finished the laundry and walked Dog and got supper and fixed the vacuum sealer and added one bit of bedroom structure before I gave up.

I didn’t get any prep done for therapy and likely won’t tomorrow unless I prioritize it over the day job (which seems unlikely). But I have a plan for next week, there’s some plausible chance I’ll get to it, and that’s better than I was doing last week, so we’ll call that a full success. Being able to plan feels like a win in and of itself.

I’ve been thinking about how to get the best terms when leave the day job. I’d definitely go for a layoff for its practical ease, though I don’t like the passivity of that plan. But I could probably plan to just not work for several months at a time of my choosing. I’m actually really good at ignoring people who I’ve decided to let go, even when they claim to need me. I bet I could do 4-6 months of pretending to work – making excuses, answering email, turning in HR assignments, etc. – and another 2-3 of literally never showing up. That’s probably better terms, and a thing I could more reliably time.

For legal purposes the above is a joke. I would never try to get money from my employer except as they graciously offer. Also for legal purposes, if someone tells you it’s “respectful” or “what I want” to keep quiet about why I was fired, they’re lying. I want you to talk about it. An NDA might prevent me from saying so later, but I’m confident that I will want you to talk about it. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to hurt me with their lies.

I’ve had my blinds and curtains both closed, but today the blinds were up and I found my curtains, in unfiltered sunlight, were glowing purple instead of their usual neutral grey. I wouldn’t have guessed at the chromatic filtering in the blinds, since they look white, but they clearly eat a lot of red. The human experience of color is so far removed from the way we understand light. In any case I was excited both by the color and the science.

These are still a struggle to get out. But it’s also day 3, which is a full success. I’ve decided to prioritize these over day job, not so much in deciding how to use my day but in deciding what I will feel bad about not getting done at night. Write a Screed, go to sleep satisifed. It’s a better plan than SR work, and hopefully will lead to a life where both types of work are less burdensome.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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