Libertarian Landlords

Maggie Mae Fish, in addition to being great in general, has a particularly good Cats video. In it she reads us poetry from the perspective of a human-cat hybrid who is for some reason is relentlessly thirsty and more than a little queer, just like Cats. But mostly she talks about fascism, which matches my mood. Give it 3 minutes and I suspect you’ll be interested in the rest: https://youtu.be/6tYcPuVYDHw

We got caught back up on Killjoys and are watching new (to us) episodes. They’ve given us several new costumes, including a sweater dress and boot that make me yell “Lana!”. Later episodes fake it with a slightly more practical shorts and sweater combination but it’s still a good new default look, after years of tactical leathers. It also gave us a great green dress, which is thematically important in the show but also the right piece get Shanda’s attention. I have really liked watching again while I get to pay attention to the clothes. I keep imagining that I’m going to put together a set of images to demonstrate (like the negative image body swaps) but getting screen caps is always such a pain. I need an editor.

I did some work on my TV automation system, after watching it decay for years. We don’t do TV like we used to, so it hasn’t been desperately important, but I’m still glad to work on it again. I even got a daemon-specific VPN going so I can more easily control where my pirate traffic hits the network without changing anything else on the same system, which I think is pretty cool. Among other things that lets me turn back on some systems I had disabled. It also gets me back into advanced networking and sysop procedures for my own use, which are things I used to be passionate about.

We watched the last episode of Picard; we had seen the rest before but issues with the TV automation kept it from finding the last episode. It went like you’d expect; he had a pretty good Doctor Who moment, right down to the magic screwdriver and the implausible return from death. It feel down a little on what had been pretty good writing about institutional oppression, but it achieved a good Next Gen episode instead, which was fine.

I got Westworld fixed too; we had watched the first episode and gotten our implied Even Rachel wood while she murdered more billionaires, and S3E2 where the show became Person of Interest (which I think could be good). I’m exited to watch more. Even just the plot blurbs make me squee – People put up a lot of walls. Bring a sledgehammer to your life.

Non-TV things happened too. I got to make progress on the logistics of a recent exciting change, even if I’m still waiting for the opportunity to actually share the feels about it. You asked me to keep the feels down until things were certain and you could feel safe, and promised there would be a chance for us to do them. But that was a long time ago and I’d love the opportunity to let them out. I’d like an opportunity to share with you in particular, so it’s a thing we can do and feel together instead of a thing you report to me later, after the feelings are gone. I know your life is hard, so I’m not complaining, but I hope you feel well enough to connection on it soon.

This seems 100% real to me: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/fwq57u/ It’s a thing I worry about doing to you – I worry that if I am proud it will hurt you to know. I worry that my pride only exists in the first place as a result of someone’s suffering. It’s a thing people exchange all the time but it’s still so opaque to me. I am proud of you though, even if my brain yells nasty things at me while it happens. Anyone who knows you would be.

I went to the physican ¹I’m pretty happy with my physician – certainly more happy than with any other one – but this is very real and a big problem for people trying to recover from long periods of abuse: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/fvzdcq/ and am starting blood pressure medication. I’m supposed to take it to keep my heart or brain from exploding but honestly I’m most interested in it’s potential to reduce the progress of my glaucoma symptoms. I can deal with dying for long enough for a burst aorta but I’d have a hard time losing my sight.

Talked to CookieZ in real time voice comms. They still sound like a chat bot but I remember now our in person interactions from decades past, and I see how that’s the calm mask to hide the rage they have sublimated into submission, presumably to survive their past life. It’s sure what they were doing in high school. I could make a fair guess as to some of the bigger points of their trauma, even from the nothing they’ve said. But it doesn’t really matter. The actual sharing is nothing when the trap in baked into your head, put there to keep you alive when your life wasn’t really tolerable. Put there when you weren’t allowed to be a real human ²MMF also talks a lot about the denial-based conformance that fascism demands even from people who it benefits, which feels very on-topic for my interaction with CookieZ.

Talked with DerbyK about new jobs and old feels and losing the things that help us adapt to the world. I think you’re doing okay, in spite of the stress, and I sent you some small helps I hope will make the the world feel more compatible.

I continue to guillotine, and among other changes have figured out how to make OpenSCAD animate. It’s not pretty yet, but I’ve for more than half the structure done, and a good plan for the mechanics I still need to build. I’m still not sure I’m up for getting me printer going again but the modeling is going better than I expected.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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