Vertical Motion
Made it to Portland. There was some panic right around the time the train left – C & Co were running pretty late, which was hard for Shanda to take. But they did show up, just before the train left, and we are now in a flatter town with more bridges.
I didn’t pick the hotel but we’re staying right in Old Town, which is a good place for me and my midnight wandering. A fair amount of things are open even on a Thursday, if a bit hostile due to high homeless populations, and so there are people around to talk at while I wander. Tonight I talked about colonialism and economic segregation with a group of young people waiting for street food, then watched them try not to feel terrible about the homeless person who came and sat with us. It is hard to stare at the world killing people 4′ away from you. I chatted with them for a while too, after the young people left, though they were only half around. The police had confiscated some of the stuff they were dragging around and it was making their day complicated.
And then I went and stood on a bridge alone at midnight. A bridge I’ve thought about a lot over the past few years. I’ve got a picture of it on my wall, a photo I bought on a previous trip to Portland. This bridge is the only independent double lift bridge in the world, built in 1912 and still using a manually controlled friction brake that the operator guesses when to apply to provide smooth operations. The lower deck (at grade, carrying heavy rail and more recently pedestrians) can be lifted while the top deck continues to pass traffic (40′ higher, carrying cars and light rail), and once it’s collapsed into itself both decks can lifted for more than 150′ of total clearance over the water. I want to try to get better pictures during the day, but for general reference see [fig 2,3]. Or just read the Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Bridge
Day job went well today. Didn’t get much technical work done, but did push around some email to help with people’s feelings. Or maybe to make their feelings worse but more appropriate for accomplishing what I want. I also got scheduled for a meeting to advance the BZ project, which I desperately want to get done before my boss gets back because it will be easier to make him stop picking at it if I go from nothing visible to a pretty package while he’s not looking.
I’ve been thinking about how to make having a new job easier, and why contract work seems more appealing. One of the reasons is clearly spelled out expectations about who controls the manner of work, so I don’t have to fight with anyone about working from home. It’s not the only thing that feels like a benefit, but it’s a big one.
For the past 20 years or so I have worked from home almost all the time. I have done so mostly against my employer’s expectations and policies, but I have been able to make it go. It’s expensive though – I negotiate away pay and have to find ways to make myself difficult to do without. It also fake it at the beginning, coming in every day for a few months before I start testing for ways to be around less. That part of having a new corporate job feels daunting to me, the bit where I have to fake being human for half a year.
One of the things I’m going to do now that I’m seeing a physican is generate supporting documentation for an ADA accommodation that lets me work from home. It’s the sort of thing I tell other people to do all the time, but for lots of reasons has felt inaccessible to me. Not believing you’re human makes asking for human things hard. The lack of medical care in my life was also a pretty significant barrier to the process. And there’s my experience and expectation that asking for help you can’t get makes things worse than not letting people see your need.
But if I play the legal game a little bit I can just demand what I need after they’re hired me, and not have to fight about it. It will still be a barrier to pay and political capital but it will let me skip the part where I fake being able to be in the office all the time.
I’ve seen one of my coworkers be very afraid to sign up for the official work from home program because they’re worried about making their disability visible to the corporate machine. Our boy scout boss doesn’t understand how disability is a problem, and to be fair he likely wouldn’t hurt anyone about it. But in real life it is a problem and my coworker is right to protect themselves. I was trying to think of a way I could help them – of a way I could help my boss see the problem. So I’m going to heist my boss by talking about the ways I hide my disability from them and stop keeping is secret, and I’m going to heist my coworker by showing them how to demand accommodation from the machine.
I think I also got some engagement on the idea that I can’t change jobs without Shands noticing, and so you will have to help. With budget, witb feelings, with disruption to our lives. You’ll hate it. That’s fine. So long as you agree you want to do it. So long as you don’t decide I’m hurting you by letting you notice my major life changes. For a long time you wanted money and jobs to be secret, and I foolishly agreed. But we can do something better now, and hopefully less alone.
HA4H was excellent today, even though I was mostly going to the train station. But I got to stream a car ride video, which went over well, and I got to talk about art heists and hear them be appreciated. @Vi was out this week but they posted a 20 minute video about the first 90 seconds of Witcher a few hours later, and I got to write to them about smelling feelings the fears of art commentary. They won’t respond but I might be able to smell their understanding next time I see their eyebrows.
I was inspired today by @Yana’s green dots [fig 1]. They make lots of dots and I like a lot of them. I was excited earlier this week to see some of M’s work, but it’s in-process and I’m not sure I’m allowed to share it. Certainly not allowed if I point out who made it, my brain yells. It made me feel very good to get though, so I’m gonna brag about it little even without pictures.
ZiB
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Sent from a phone.
