Happy Hallowsceed™
Today was the science center halloween party, and I dressed for the occasion for the first time in years [fig 1§]. The costume was a big hit and provided a great personal space buffer. Next time needs sound effects, and maybe some more internal straps for easier wrangling.
It was also Halloween nails day [fig 2,3]. The blood stencils came out real good, and several others were pretty good. Even the web came out okay, and I thought that would be scrap.
The part of Mr. Robot (USA Networks) that appeals to me is the way it understands the violence that’s omnipresent in our world but that we are asked to ignore because the people undertaking it have delegated and difussed it into institutions. So basically the same thing I like about Michel Foucault (e.g. Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison). And it makes me want anarchy, at least against the rich. But as Mr. Robot understands its impossible to use financial violence against the rich, and so it still takes actual murder and lots of starving people to get the job done.*
Work continues to exist. It wasn’t too bad other than the morning meeting. But I can stay home tomorrow and I’m still at 0 SRs, so things could be a lot worse.
Chatted with M today about a project and got my own homework assignment. I used to do computer projects for fun and profit, but it’s been a while. I wrote most of a new state system in a new language a year ago and was perfectly happy to do it, but it’s been hard to get started again. It would help if I replaced some of my ancient equipment but it’s hard to make that a priority either – it’s both a bunch of work and costs a bunch of money.
Some talking today, but we were both fairly busy. Feeling more stable about the inertia of recovery but still not on the same page about the emotional shape of any given day. Then B came over and never left, which sucked up any other time we might have had along with the opportunity to discuss logistics. Some friction around asking me for permission to do things I do not want to be in control of, including B telling me about how I’m too demanding because I want Shanda to do what she currently says she wants to do. I’m sure B is trying to help, but it doesn’t feel like they’re in on the plan. It’s hard enough to put up with Shanda blaming me for literally following her instructions about this exact situation; she doesn’t need an advocate – I do.
I’ve got Rimworld setup up and ready for an unwise amount of play this weekend while Shanda is at a con. I’ve only played for about 90 minute so far – just enough to stop swearing at the UI again. It’s not quite a productive activity in and of itself, but it’s the sort of structured distraction I could use as a way to externalize some anxiety. And to imagine that helping people organize their lives so they don’t die over the winter is fun game time and not survival obsession time – I can like it instead of being stressed by it.
ZiB
*Which I guess I’ll just stew on for a while hoping someone has a better plan. But eventually, in lieu of any good ideas… In the mean time, this framing makes me appreciate the arcade metaphor all over again.
§These are not related to the costume, but I was a robot at a party so I wore my robot party eyes [fig 4].
™Not great I know, but the long e and the alliteration make a strong case for the technical existence of a pune.
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Sent from a phone.
