Self Control

Robots today. Stubbed in some code to make DriveTo work with the internal PID. Who knows how that will make this thing drive, but we should at least be able to check. That whole system needs a rewrite, now that we’ve got a different class of base hardware, but this should work for now. I think the new config system will lend itself to new sensor loops, when we get there.

Yelled an art heist at DerbyK, who teased a call but didn’t connect. Did only minor day job today, which was fine. Heard that S is officially retiring at the end of the year, which I hope will be good for them. It will at least be good news for someone who hasn’t been in the same job since they finished undergrad debt free at a ritzy school. And it might let them do things they have currently decided must wait.

Don’t call it Friendsgiving. That’s what patriarchs call it to devalue you and your choices. That’s what people call it when they want to be doing something else but are settling for this. That’s what people say when they want me to know that I will never have a “real” holiday because I will never have the right relationships. You’re doing regular Thanksgiving. If someone wants to distinguish theirs from yours they can choose their own label ¹Like “Christian Rock”. If they are too Christian for Rock they can add a label, but we still get to call the broader category of Rock “Rock”. This makes me wonder if there’s Christian Jazz, and if it refuses to swing – if it becomes ragtime – because swung rhythm encourages vertical expressions of horizontal desires. Probably it just … Continue readingwithout insisting that you be excluded.

GeekGirlCon this weekend. We’re gonna see if Shanda can handle two days in public with me, which has been a challenge in the past. But it think it will be okay, if you can stay with me. And I think you’ve done good prep. You saved it until the last minute, but I think we talked through the parts that will be hardest. Talking through the whole plan for the day often helps you feel safer both about doing it and about making changes to accommodate your feelings as it happens.

There’s a thing I haven’t figured out how to say, about my expectation that if I accurate and precisely share a feeling with someone they will, sometimes, be able to talk to me about it, or at least share a moment of connection about it. I’m very good both at inducing and reading feels, at least given time. But it almost ever results in connection. It’s great when it does work, but I need a different understanding because working is pretty rare.

Mailed a package today and advanced plans for some of the extras that will go out next month. Realized that I forgot to write a postcard this week, though I did have new, good postcard ideas. Shanda did a minor Disco Dog today, and finally let me help you find the right kind of too much. Watched an AD where @BPS was real afraid of giving up control of their thoughts, after already losing control of their body, and of choosing to accept that helplessness and isolation. I know how to give up that sort of control, but I’m not sure I have a story that will let them share it with me.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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