Dog Days
Slept in today, after Shanda left for her date. Dog was still feeling like he needed to be close so he came and laid next to me at the top of the bed after Shanda left. When he got restless we went to the yard fora while so he could browse the available grasses and chase a frizbee for exactly one throw 1Dog can’t be bothered to chase things very often. When he get worked up and is trapped inside he will chase a toy for maybe 6 rounds, but often even you throw to him and he catches what you tossed he doesn’t care and just drops it. Outside he mostly can’t be bothered, because grass is too interesting. If you throw a stick he’ll grab it, … Continue reading before getting bored.
I wore a sweatshirt (and socks) when I went out, for the first time in a couple of decades. I still hate compressive cuffs on long sleeves, but I didn’t hate being warm in the survival fear way I usually do, which I think is good. Last year I accepted that I’d have to live a different life to be homeless, and more recently I accepted that I could have clothes that didn’t support living rough, but it has still been hard to be okay depending on clothes for temperature regulation. Today was better, if still a long way from allowing myself to care about being cold.
After Dog time I did a bunch of small chores – laundry and dishes and trash and water and cleaning and bills and bedding and the like. Took most of the day. I had intended to wire up the new disk enclosure power supply but I wore myself out on other work. Eventually sat down for some @AvE and Dog sat right up against and on for the next hour or so, until Shanda came home.
Shanda had a pretty good date from what I understand, though with someone a ferry ride away, so probably not a target for frequent dates. You protected a homeless dude from harassment at the transit station with just intimidating looks. Good for you, for seeing a problem instead of ignoring it. And for having the confidence to know that your disapproving eye contact is enough to deter a wide variety of unethical behaviors. It’s always stressful to intervene in something bad, even if you don’t get close enough to get any on you, but I think it was well worth your effort.
Had stir fry for supper and talked about the old feels you have about cooking eggs. I don’t know if we changed them but we at least got to push for a second and see what they are. Walked Dog and made plans for the week – it’s pretty busy with robots and dancing and holidays and homework and LS. We’re gonna have to get household things done between Tuesday morning and Wednesday afternoon to avoid pushing them out until next week. But I got a bunch of them done today so hopefully that won’t be too hard.
Talked with M about the anxiety of ambiguity, about the segregation of adversity, and about dreams for attachment. One of the ways the world punishes us for failing to live the role we were assigned is by making our lives inaccessible to much of the cohort we aspire to join. It can be discouraging to see current opportunities lost to our past experience, and it’s easy to feel like that’s a failure we need to hide or correct. It sucks to have to make that difficult cutoff at step 0 instead of step 8, but it’s still the right choice. It’s the wisdom to see what we need, to be pointed at it from the beginning, and to demand that we will have it instead of hoping it will eventually appear. Accepting life that requires letting go of the idea that we want something more typical, but it also makes us free to have something better, and lets us be confident that it will fit us when we find it. It’s hard but not hopeless, and you don’t have to do it alone.
Talked with @Yana about lemon trees, with J about being missed, and with Alex about neck sizing. Made plans for a haircut and weed and meals and driving. Upgraded a pail from mess to trash to art. Downgraded a container from mess to trash to gone. Dodged 4 politicians at my doorstep (no thanks to Dog, who rightfully mistrusts anyone who repeatedly rings the doorbell). Didn’t vote yet; we should get on that before it becomes a hassle, to do what we can to stymie Amazon’s war on humanity.
ZiB
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Sent from a phone.
Stars for Later
| ↑1 | Dog can’t be bothered to chase things very often. When he get worked up and is trapped inside he will chase a toy for maybe 6 rounds, but often even you throw to him and he catches what you tossed he doesn’t care and just drops it. Outside he mostly can’t be bothered, because grass is too interesting. If you throw a stick he’ll grab it, then sit down and eat it for a minute, then go back to the grass snuffling. He likes when you throw things but he considers it a spectator sport, not a game he wants to play himself. |
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