Maybe it’s a scam. And like any heist story we should start by meeting the players. I’ve been reluctant to really pin them down but maybe I should start. Since before these started – since I started moving to reduce the cost of employment – I have been resentful and overwhelmed about day job.The work itself isn’t terrible. In fact I have successfully minimized a lot of it, and in many weeks I can compress it to a fairly manageable number of hours of dedicated work. But I only feel capable of working when I become Work – the somewhat independent self that’s in charge of all the aspects of…

I want to scream when I hear someone describe event-based PTSD. It’s worse when they position PTSD as proof of how bad the event was. “I was raped once by someone I never saw again and I still have PTSD years later”. My brain singes with decades of resentment for what feels like privilege 1It is a privilege, from my very specific perspective. But it’s not a societal privilege, in the way that term is used more broadly. Being “only” traumatized by an isolated event is still a loss of personhood and still pain. to me, even though the speaker merely comments on their own terrible experience. Most of the…

I am almost always prepared to try any thing even without cognitively knowing how it works, without any reason to believe it is safe, without any experience or anyone to guide me. This is sometimes expensive but often sufficient and occasionally excellent. If I give up the idea of anxiety I am allowed to do many things. But I don’t always do this to be free, sometimes I do it because I am fearful I won’t have cognitive memory to depend on. Sometimes I am afraid the me who knows won’t be available in the time that matters, and so I am loathe to depend on memory for anything I…