I’ve had a couple of days to catch up with myself. It mostly went well. There would maybe even have been some writing if there was any upholstered seating in the entire room, or even enough space on the bed for my elbows. But it was good even without writing. I took one of my days off to bait my landlord into admitting their willful refusal to return my deposit. As you might expect, they are not entirely familiar with either their general or legal duties as a landlord and were unprepared to terminate our relationship cleanly. As you ought to expect, I am prepared 1for terminating any relationship, at…

I’m officially off today – until Wednesday in fact – for reasons other than “too busy/sick to work”, for the first time in a goodly while. I have skipped work a lot of days this summer, but didn’t actually get to take any off; I ditched lots of meetings but didn’t actually reduce my workload very much. I’m not dedicated to the job, but one of the ways I’ve arranged to have a very flexible schedule is to be “available” and to produce visible tokens of work even on days when I can’t work, so that my absence is less visible. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t been able…

I got to talk to DerbyK yesterday and chat with M today, which has had a big impact on my week. I’m doing shitty at day job and only okay at physical wellness but it was really good to talk to people this week after too long away. DerbyK is getting married this weekend 1No big parties obviously, but I promise we’ll do something cool to celebrate when the world allows it., which was an excuse to send a package. I got to pick out something fun and slightly silly and that came with no English instructons. I got to write a story 2The ultimate cheapskate gift – a printed…

I can’t get on board with the idea of ancestral lands 1An idea often promoted as a sort of reparations for native peoples and other groups that have been subject to genocide under colonialism. I do think we should make reparations, including land. I think that will take a very long time, and that we should make accommodations until those reparations are complete. But I don’t think ancestry is a … Continue reading. I can agree that it’s better than colonialism, but it just nomiates the patriarchy (or whatever defines “ancestry” in a given culture) as a replacement for captialism, at least in terms of land usage. It still just picks…

Mostly naps and D&D today. Which is fine. The world is pretty high on physical threat today and I’m happy to hide from it. I wish I could hide from the smoke. My eyes feel like it’s 1998 and I live in a mold factory and I haven’t removed my contacts for 4 days. The game went well. We started late and spent a lot of time worrying about how the rules should work, but we got into it eventually. Got to make actual character choices and mush the stats around a bit to fit the game model and RP goals. We got Shanda in top the game too, where…

The air here is significantly more grirty than my body is rated for. It’s not great, even inside (not that inside and outside are super distinct in a century old house). It did keep the temperature down though, and made a passible impression of heavy overcast. My eyes could really go for some fall weather though. That constant falling most for a few days would go a long way toward sanity 1Mine at least. The city is still in the middle of this thing where we pay cops overtime to organize violent assaults and property damage, while the mayor lies to and threatens citizens, so overall levels of sanity are…

Up early today and lots of driving to get Dog to chemo. He had a late appointment today, which still means 11 AM 1in fracking Lynnwood. I like life less on days when I have to face the day star face-on, particularly when I feel tired. But it went well enough, and got me to a place where I could advance the plot on urgent day job bits before HA4H, which was great. Dog is doing well. He gets a little sick after chemo but otherwise he acts like he feels better than he did in March. His spinal growth doesn’t seem to be a big factor right now, so…

Today was fine, except when it wasn’t. I did no day job and (mostly) don’t feel bad about it. I did Dog things and Shanda things hide for a while outside on the outdoor couch 1Despite the Ames, IA rules about indoor-outdoor-rental furniture, I have come to really appreciate the outdoor couch. I could 100% be homeless on a couch with rain cover. If there was electricity and a nearby bathroom I’d be in pretty good shape. I’m excited to get the backyard setup for movies, even before I get a real theater inside. … Continue reading when things were hard. I found my aging plaster walls to be a challenge…

If you just start it’s often not as hard to keep going, once you’ve made it past the bit where your brain won’t engage. But it’s not really any different over there. You’ve just given up some of your dread. It’s been a medium weekend. Things are hard because Shanda is having a hard time, but I did accomplish things that I like and mostly avoided feeling burnt out. That’s only a minor success on an absolute scale, but it it’s a big improvement over the version where sustainable isn’t an option and it feels like negotiating your survival. I’ve spent too long close to that survival place in recent…

Today I put down the curtains at 6:30 PM. Is that how these things start? It’s like I forget how these are shaped, though my fingers have tapped out hundreds. Today I put down the curtains at 6:30 PM. I live at the 49th parallel and I have an unobstructed view of the setting sun, so murder rays come late in the day. Until now I had been merely subject to this assault but finally there are curtains, and I can keep the sun behind them. Finally it feels like I can exist here on my own terms, at least for a minute. I also got my first Ethernet run…