Made it to Portland. There was some panic right around the time the train left – C & Co were running pretty late, which was hard for Shanda to take. But they did show up, just before the train left, and we are now in a flatter town with more bridges. I didn’t pick the hotel but we’re staying right in Old Town, which is a good place for me and my midnight wandering. A fair amount of things are open even on a Thursday, if a bit hostile due to high homeless populations, and so there are people around to talk at while I wander. Tonight I talked about…

Did well back at the day job today. It’s nice to not have meetings to worry about. I got my one SR done – marked Resolved – with only an hour or so of research. Got a VM spun up for the BZ project and got a test run going. I should be in good shape for transfer automation tomorrow and for having no deadline work when I leave on Thursday. It was nice to not have anything to worry about yesterday: no work, no robots, no one available when I called. I got to sleep in myself and help Shanda get extra rest while she’s sick. I got to…

Dems and Reps agree that Bernie can’t be president, and everyone including Trump is afraid of him, at least when they can admit he exists. They also both agree to only switch sides every 8 years, so the Dems aren’t really trying to get elected this round, just to control some of the public attention. They’re running Pete and promised him real backing in 2024 (or maybe even later since he’s young by their standards) and in the mean time he’s a made man. Donnie needs to win the next election to feel good but doesn’t really like being president. The Reps don’t like him either but won’t risk moving…

I’m still sick today. Tolerable but makes sleep hard even though I’m tired. Makes me restless. I think I can close out my SRs today though, assuming no big new ones come in. Maybe I can get to a VM for the BZ project too. I don’t have any deadline work today so if I can find sleep I should be able to take it. Not sure if I’ll make the science center movie reception tonight though. I like going but it’s too much to be out and busy until 9 if I’m feeling sick. Not sure what today’s therapy topic is. Obviously we’re going to talk about trust, to…

My boss is on the BZ project again. I’m so frustrated that he wants to keep prodding at it, even when it’s clear no one cares. He’s worried in part because he’s sold this as my value to management, and so he wants a “win” to prove my worth. He also imagines that if you give people good information and guidance they will do the right thing. I know those are both silly plans, and not just from my cynicism – the data he claims people need is already available and no amount of pretty on my part will make them use it. I keep asking for a definition of…

We did art therapy on Saturday. In public. At a place known to trigger old feels. About a topic that required – still requires – much grieving. So there was resentment and anger and sadness and fear. There was restlessness and sore feet and tension and dry mouth and disappointment. But we did it. We went to a craft store and felt the old feels about being trapped in such a place, hungry and tried and overwhelmed and unable to leave. Choosing between being trapped and lonely at home or trapped and anxious here. Waiting for someone anxious who refuses to make a decision, preparing a for “project” you dreaded…

Here’s a sad story. Not a new one but relevant to a feeling I want to talk about. When I was maybe 5, and Alex was about 2, we were unsupervised for lunch. This was not uncommon but the level of supervision was particularly low, as Mother was away and Pete was outside working on something. I made myself tuna for lunch, as I did many days, and I helped Alex make hers too. We both prepared bread and whatever we condiment we were each allowed and with some effort I got the can open (which is real work when you’re 5). I drained it and took my share and…

Ran office hours today. Literally no one stopped to see me. Which was fine. It was too busy for focused worked but I cranked through some light SRs. With that and a little follow up at home I managed to kill all but one from my queue, and that one is waiting on someone else. I’m back on the queue next week but I can leave this week clean and hope next week doesn’t pick up 2 a day like the last round did. Spent HA4Hs today working on robot soldering. Primarily tearing apart an old Xbox controller trying to retrofit external pots. The construction on these is really surprising…

The first time we watched Killjoys Shanda couldn’t see the murder cult narc 1%er abuse backstory of the main character. But you can now; they address it directly. It’s one of the things I love about the show. It’s the backstory this person actually has to be where they are now, and it’s what gives them a perspective on and power against the broader oppression of their world. Episode 4 starts with an off-handed but thoughtless and mean comment about how the protagonist isn’t as human as people who feel pain. But it ends with that same commenter telling our hero they “got out clean”, from whatever shit they escaped,…