I did do LI about watching films in therapy and I think it helped. At least part of it is about the way I abandoned social film when I fled my family of origin. The people I did it with were part of what I had to give up and I never made it work right again. I built lots of spaces for it to happen in person and remotely and could never get anyone to join me on a regular basis. But also I had exciting film talks with you today. And watched a movie with Shanda last weekend. And we have all been working on storytelling in various…

Sick today. Nothing serious but enough to make sleep hard and to keep me tired and uncomfortable. Skipped most of work (other than minor updates to SRs). Sometimes felt bad about the concept my brain invents about getting behind in a busy week but mostly was fine about it. Laid in bed all day and am still tired. Dog got cleaned today, which was inconveniently timed but otherwise pretty nice, as fighting with him for a bath isn’t fun. Got a box of LEDs and associated bits for upcoming projects. Got tickets for L’s show on Saturday, which should be good fun itself and is an excuse to go out…

I’m feeling down today. A little lonely and a little sad. It’s better than the detached anxious I was last week, but it’s still mostly detached. That’s good, in that it’s probably old feels and not really about current things. But it’s also bad because it’s hard to address – it’s hard to find the right feel to work through because my brain has had several decades to practice hiding it from me. It’s presumably triggered by something more present though, so let’s prod around my brain and see what we can find. Lazy day today. Shanda was out all day with LS but I stayed home. Had lunch, played…

Took good advantage of the long weekend and spent all day laying low. Watched some iZombie, which in addition to being funny and puney is full of oppression. It was before too, but it’s been a while since I watched, and oppression has been on my mind lately. Plus there’s a dance episode and Ferris episode and wig disguises and codependent brain switching. It’s a good time. You should have some. Made some improvised sticky rolls with cherries, ate leftovers, felt good about getting chores done on Saturday so we didn’t have to work. Dealt with more feels about the pain and anxiety of being 10. Shopped for things we…

Friday was good. Got 5 new SRs, which is not ideal, and I didn’t kill any of them. But I’m on queue all next week so probably it will smooth out. Still lots of feels from Shanda but it seems like we’re burning through them now – we accomplished shopping and prep for her date and a nice night together. Busy on Saturday. Shanda was anxiously motivated to do things like clean because of her date, but I think it worked pretty well given that. We got all sorts of things done that we haven’t been able to for weeks (or longer), without any tears. And all done by 3…