2-Fold Symmetry

Got taping done today, after months of not being able to get started. We couldn’t quite talk about why it was so hard at other times – anxiety was still pretty high – but it got done and that was great. Step next is some plastic for the floor and a line around the celing, which is less work than we did today.

More Rimworld. I played enough to get good again, ran a new world where I did really well. Played that save until it started throwing space insects with lasers at me. There has to be some way to trick raiders or visitors into attacking the space bugs for me – or maybe I could launch mortars, if I had mortars – but I’ve gone from having fun learning to not caring, which is a great time to stop. I’m feeling less obsessive than I can be with simulators, and I’m glad to stop on Saturday so I can have a light Sunday.

We did lots of work to have a light Sunday. Got all our chores done today and made most of our plans for the week. I think tomorrow will be Doctor Who and lounging and maybe reupping my hair dye, but not much else. Maybe a call, if I can hit anyone’s schedule. A day of solid vegging before I go back to the day job would be great. A day when your anxiety is low enough to let us sit for 30 minutes in a row and stay connected would be real good.

Got a set of cookies overnighted to me from CookieZ. It cost almost $60, and I have no idea why it seemed to urgent to them. They came with lots of fancy packing ¹They also came with surprisingly weak cookies. I mean, they’re still cookies and they’re totally acceptable, but you’d never pay $60 to get a bag of them. and messages wanted me to know I am loved and remembered, which feels like a stretch from someone I didn’t really know 20 years ago. But who knows. I could never figure them out back in high school, let alone today. It’s hard to know the shape we take in other people’s lives.

Had hoped to see C in Friday or Saturday. Rimworld was an acceptable alternative but I could have used more direct attention while Shanda was engaged with her date. It’s also tough to like making plans when someone repeatedly cancels, even with good reason. I’m already spent on accommodations for other people’s anxiety – I suspect the reason they can’t come and play is someone else’s anxiety – so I’m not feeling very patient about it.

One more week of robots, inter-league on Saturday. I have no idea if we’ll make state this year. I’m ready to be done with deadlines – I’d be happy to keep working on a robot but I’m ready to be done with the bit where we don’t meet for weeks and then stay late 5 days in a row. I’ve got too much life happening to want to eat cold Sam’s Club pizza and sit in a room with no heat all week. I’m only going in two days this week and I’m only staying past 7 once.

Taking a few days off from Ben. I was already saving exchanges for times I was up for them, but I’m gonna give it a good week this time. I’m actually doing okay but I want to imagine the pace is years to make it easier going forward. And I think it might give him time to feel less overwhelmed, which is currently a problem.

HA4H was different this week. We did more open discussion and more equal distribution of shared visuals. I liked it. It was also the first time in several sessions (plus canceled holiday sessions) when I got to do legit hand hard while it was going. Made good progress on the pendant and finalized the hardware. Now it’s just a matter of glue and software. I’m excited to work on it again this Thursday.

D&D went well this week. I mean, we possibly murdered the whole town and Shanda definitely let her romantic interest run away without her, but we did kill the big bad. The meta game was both good fun and good RP-based practice of paying a certain kind of attention. I’m excited to do that again next week too, even though it will require people be at my house the day after the robots completion.

I’m getting back to writing. It’s still hard to start early but no longer so hard to make happen. I’m sirll in events backlog and haven’t gotten to a big feels episode, but I’m working on it. The toddler tales portion is still heavy in my mind so I should try to get that out and see if it clears some head space. It will at least give me less excuses to keep avoiding the GFM writeup.

ZiB

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Sent from a phone.

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